skyndilega.

some things-

really wanted to see tdkr about three/four hours ago. went hunting for theater tickets. train tickets. people to drive me. thought about walking into town and getting on the train and going to the city and entering the cinema and watching the film then leaving the theater then getting on the train then walking out of town then getting into bed.

what’d I end up doing?

I cut my hair with clippers and scissors. I listened to needle in the hay. I thought about dying. I fed my animals and thought half-hearted dark thoughts at them too. I cleared the whole place up. I got back into bed.

I’ve used up all my spoons.

I just cut my hair.

I don’t want to die; but I don’t want to live.

What should I do?

Everything I did.

(Source: amomentbeenandgone, via iwantogohome-blog)

calmingmanatee:

[Image description: A side on photograph of a manatee. It is somewhat grainy. TEXT: “You did such a great job today. I am really proud of you.”]

arealliveghost:

m4w: you are one person out of 7 billion and so am I

m4w: I died before time travel was commonplace and you were born after it became passé

m4w: you are one person out of 2.1 billion and so am I

m4w: our memory chips got switched at the hospital and I can’t stop thinking about your childhood bedroom

m4w: you are one person out of 600 million and so am I

m4w: we were placed in adjacent containment cells. when you beg the guards for food I can see your fingertips

m4w: you are one person out of 57 million and so am I

m4w: our organs were manufactured in the same vat and the cross-contamination caused a glitch that makes me like you

m4w: you are one person out of 63 thousand and so am I

m4w: the interface flickered offline for a moment and I saw your real eyes. but it came back

m4w: you are one person out of 800 and so am I

m4w: I burned your documents and in your identification photo you looked so sad

m4w: you are one person out of two and so am I. but we don’t like each other much

(Source: ka-waltz, via bomo)

(needle in the hay)

- I spend all day in bed.

- It takes me weeks to change my bedding.

- I have a shower maybe once a week.

- I clean my teeth maybe twice a month.

- I sleep in weird segments usually from 7am-1pm or 10am-4pm.

- I don’t think I get enough sleep.

- Sometimes I eat breakfast. Right now I don’t.

- Yesterday I had a piece of bread, a cheese triangle, then chips & a sausage.

- Normally I have some kind of bread thing or cereal, then some kind of meal.

- I don’t think it’s enough, but I can’t make myself eat more.

- When I wake up, I have to spend from thirty minutes to two hours getting better.

- I spend all night and day trying not to be ill.

- This isn’t okay.

- This is wrong.

(Source: wolf-teeth, via serious-beezness)

(Source: asianfuck, via rxdrugs-deactivated20121206)

(via lars-and-the-real-girl-deactiva)